BaKhabar, January 2012, Page-7

better light a candle than curse the darkness

Gender Justice, Gender Equality, Women’s Rights – a chance to act God!

{It is fine to term men as dogs because of similarity in their behaviour to that creature! But, how can you equate man to as beautiful a creation of God Almighty as a woman! No injustice against women can be as macabre as this!}

If only God created men to bear children, the "Gender Equality", "Women's Rights", or "Gender Justice" movements would not have been required, nor would women need to be provoked into "confronting the men"; women would be the bully instead! I think the chauvinistic conditioning of the male mind doesn't begin at home, but much earlier, in the heavens!! If only God created the men and women equal, none would be able to bully the other, nor would any of them need to subjugate. Both being equal, they would wrestle along the whole of their life, if at all they could bear each other!! Ek meyaan meN do talwaar!! Man would bear one child, woman another, a perfect balance; but alas!! My sister's mother would be a man, and my mother a woman. I hope it's not getting too confusing!! Sorry for that ... men and women, please forgive me equally!!

Bullying is in human nature. The stronger one (humans as well as animals) always bullies the weaker one. If the weaker one agrees to play second fiddle - in management philosophy, it is called “division of labour”, love and peace (backed by sympathy, maybe) may prevail, else the tug of war, suspicion breeding more suspicion, and conflict will be an order of the day. We witness this every day in our offices - men bullying men, they don't necessarily have to bully a woman; they could easily be bowled over by women peers. Women bullying women is even an uglier scene everywhere, be it the office or home.

Stronger families or clans bully the weaker ones; same is true for nations. This is the way we are created - all living beings - so why complain? And, complain to whom? By provoking one party to open a front against the other, we are not solving the problem at all; we are only opening new frontiers; to no avail.

“Compromise” may be a dirty word only as long as it does not give way to its positive counterparts like “accommodation”, “adaptation” (even, “adjustment”). Similarly, “exploitation” may sound offensive only until we look at it from another perspective, for example, if we perceive it as “helping” the other party, it automatically becomes a noble act - this may only need adjustment of our ego-controls.

The liberated woman is suffering far more because she is fighting the battle on more than one front, and finally finds herself shattered, leaving the society in tatters - they are exploited in office, at home, in the streets. The beasts of prey are waiting for an easy "catch”, sometimes to prove they are stronger (to subdue the “weaker sex”), sometimes “just for fun”, sometimes to avenge an insult (as are demands of equality perceived). Her “freedom” sets her free as a commodity ready to be consumed. The source of exploitation of the free-bird is friends more often than the foes.

Why should women alone compromise; just because they are physically weak? Can’t men be exploited; they must be having some weaknesses? Well, most men are in fact lured into spending time and money on women friends and partners. Not an exploitation? Fine. What about this finding “3 in 4 B.C. boys on street sexually exploited by women”? [http://bit.ly/vl6o9u]. Well, “men aren’t boys” who would complain against exploitation by the opposite sex! They have learnt to enjoy this exploitation; muslim men permit exploitation by more than one woman at a time, and enjoy it too.

Gender justice, which is definitely an area everyone must work on so that he or she is not caught off-guard by Allah, for any injustice done to the other individuals around him or her. But, I always wonder how there can be gender equality!! Gender is a creation of the Almighty. It was His discretion to create two different genders or three, but not one. Is it within the capability of us humans to make the distinctively different creatures equal? Is it not same as dreaming to make dogs equal to cats or men. I mean, it is fine to term men as dogs because of similarity in their behaviour to that creature! But, how can you equate men to as beautiful a creation of God Almighty as women! No injustice against women can be as macabre as this! I mean how can I ask my wife to make me as beautiful as her? However much her cosmetics I steal-and-use for my sandy skin, how can I tun them as soft as hers. And, how can I similarly be as soft in behaviour to my kids as she always is!!

Allah has placed Jannah at the feet of women, can I snatch that away from my wife's feet? Even if I scrape, scratch or lick the underside of her feet, or the ground underneath, the whole of my life, will that Jannah ever be mine?

Allah's advice to my kids is to care for their mother three times more than me; in fact they do so even if they are unaware of this because Allah has perhaps filled their hearts with much more love for their mother than for their father. Now, how can your gender equality campaign provide justice to me?

Compromise is the key to happy life in this temporary phase of our being. If men did not compromise their freedom in favour of women, no social fabric could be imagined – unless one fibre makes way for the others, no fabric is possible. If women did not sacrifice their freedom and joy for the sake of their children, boys and girls alike, procreation would stop and this phase of life would come to a screeching halt.

It is the combined responsibility of men and women to try to remove the discrepancies, disputes, disparities; together, like the two eyes. Imperfections would exist, we can't eliminate them; we aren't God ....!

For water to flow naturally, one side (end) has to be lower than the other; love flows in similar fashion - the best example is that from parents to children. And yes, most men have to bow before their women to receive an affectionate kiss.

Aap se jhuk ke jo milta hoga
Us ka qad aap se Ooncha hoga ...