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| BaKhabar  Download pdf
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| Don’t
be so quick to blame others perhaps the fault lies with you ... By Asma bint Shameem
I remember the first time I went for Umrah was when I was about 16 or 17 years old. That was the time when my family was not really a ‘practicing’ Muslim family. Yeah sure, we prayed and fasted, but that was about the only thing I knew about Islaam…nothing much more than that.  Included in that was my ignorance of the rules of Hijaab. I didn’t cover myself except when I prayed and that also, not too well. I didn’t know that Allaah required of me to cover myself, not just when I prayed; rather, all the time, in front of all non-mahram men, and I didn’t know exactly how I should cover myself, either. You see, I had grown up with the erroneous understanding that it is ‘backward’ and ‘uneducated’ to cover yourself, and indeed, those who observed hijaab were looked down upon. So there I was, in front of the Haram, the House of my Lord, with my tight shalwar kameez and a small scarf (or dupatta, as you call it in Urdu) just barely covering my head and shoulders, the rest of me exposed. As I stood by the main entrance of the Masjid, I looked at the throngs of Saudi women who passed by me, fully covered from top to toe, in their ‘abaayas and niqaabs with nothing but their eyes showing. And as I looked at them, several emotions were going through my young and ignorant mind……emotions of amazement, pity and scorn, all mixed together. These poor Saudi women…I thought to myself. Aren’t they hot? Poor things, they are so illiterate and suppressed. They are living in a world of their own. They have no idea where the rest of us are going. But as I took pity on them and shook my head with hopelessness and disdain, I also noticed something else. I noticed that they were glaring at me as they passed me by….each and every one of them! Wow! I thought to myself. What’s the matter with them?!! And just when I thought I had had enough of their awful looks and glares, one of them stopped abruptly and sharply tugged at my hair that was showing from underneath my short scarf. “OUCH! Stop that!” I snapped at her. “Why in the world did you do that to me?!!” The lady angrily muttered something to me in Arabic and left and I just stood there, hurt, angry, bewildered and disgusted. These Arabs are SO RUDE!! I hatefully and bitterly thought to myself. I didn’t understand the hostility, the angry looks, the resentment. When I told someone about what happened, they said, “Oh, you don’t know. These Arabs are so racists! They don’t like Pakistanis!” And that’s what I believed. That these Arabs are not only illiterate, suppressed, and uncivilized, but they are also racist, rude and mean…. And then, after some years, Allaah gave me another chance to go for Umrah. Only this time, it was different. To my amazement, everyone was so kind to me! The sisters smiled at me and treated me with respect. When they spoke to me, their voice was soft and their manners were the best. They said salaam to me, and hugged me and kissed me. They shared their food with me. They made space for me in the saff for prayer, when there was no space to be seen. In other words, they treated me like their sister. Wow! Amazing! “Surely, these Arabs have changed!” I thought, so pleasantly surprized and thankful. “They are no longer rude and mean. They have actually become civilized, polite and courteous!” “What made them change….??” I wondered. “Why was it so different last time?” And then, an awful and bitter reality dawned upon me. The painful and distressing realization crept upon me and made me shudder. The disturbing awareness that it was not them who had changed. Rather, it was me. It was not they who were different after all these years. I was different. Alhamdulillaah, Allaah had guided me. Now, I was now covered, from head to toe…..just like these Arab women, just like the way Allaah has told us Muslim women to cover. And that was the difference. It became clear to me, as bright as day, that, it was never me that these Arab sisters were angry at, when I had first come for Umrah many years ago. It was the laws of Allaah that I was defying that they were upset about. All those years back, the fault was with me, not them. When Allaah made me realize that it is an order from Him to cover myself and wear proper hijaab….. that was the difference. I had realized that it is NOT backward or uncivilized to dress modestly and it is NOT a sign that I am oppressed. I recognized the fact that it was not them who were suppressed or illiterate. Rather, it was me that was so, when I disobeyed Allaah and didn’t do what I was supposed to do. They didn’t need to be pitied. I did. When I believed that it is a sign of me obeying my Lord and an honor and a dignity that He bestows on whomever He wishes, that was the difference. I also realized that these Arabs are NOT racist and it is not about us being ‘Pakistani’ or non-Arab. Rather, it is our own actions that make people like us or honor us…or dislike us. It also made me aware of the fact that so many times, we are so quick to blame others. We rush to see the faults that lie with others that we forget, that perhaps the fault, in fact, lies with us and not with them. Just like I was so quick in condemning and blaming my Arab brothers and sisters for being mean and rude and racist. And I didn’t realize that it was my actions, my deeds, my way of dressing, that was the reason for their dislike and nothing more. Remember, when you pick up your hand to point a finger at somebody, do realize that there are four (fingers of your own hand) pointing at you too. May Allaah forgive our previous mistakes and guide us always to the straight path and enable us to see the Truth as the Truth and falsehood as falsehood. May He allow us to see our own mistakes and enable us to make taubah and rectify our shortcomings. Ameen. 
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From
Beauty Full to Beauty Fooled... The Myth of Good looking
From “Beyond Education” collection – Nissar Nadiadwala’s Editorial for Young Muslims  When grandfathers in half trousers with their shirts tucked in and sleeves rolled up, move on the beaches displaying the youth, which they have already lost, and grandmothers in sleeveless T-shirts and tight slacks roam around in the malls staring at the windows of fashion stores to look for the latest in the fashion world, then we come to the conclusion that the definition of beauty has changed and so has the perception of beauty. These days, everyone is trying to look good. So the gyms, the diet and health centers, articles and books on health, all are in good business. The other day, a grooming class for males in Mumbai announced that they were entering into their twenty-fifth year. Among the many lessons in the etiquette they teach, one thing that strikes me is "how to be decent with opposite sex." The love pundits know it very well that the best way to impress the opposite sex is to appear and behave decently. Do you think that Iblis could have forced Adam and Eve to eat the forbidden fruit (or what so ever it was)? Surah Ar'af informs us of Ibis’s approach in the verse, 21: And he swore that he was their well-wisher... There are modern Iblises around us swearing through hundreds of advertisements in almost every TV channel and every page of Newspapers and magazines that they are the well-wishers of women folk. They are everywhere. They lurk towards the young girls even in pages of Facebook. Unfortunately some of them even appear as sheikhs and muftis in Da'wah and in fiqh, pretending to teach you one thing but wanting you to learn another. It is very amusing to note that even educated people are beauty fooled by the new standards of beauty. It seems that aging people don't want to grow older and young girls, as young as nine, are in a hurry to grow into young women. Comparing themselves with movie actresses and models they have a terrible complex of their looks and their weight. Considering the time spent in gazing at the mirror, if only mirrors were perishable items like shoes and dresses, getting ragged after using, all of them would crack in few weeks. A little girl shared her experience of dieting on the net: “I am afraid of putting on weight, so I stuck a picture of a fat lady on the door of my refrigerator to frighten myself every time I am tempted to open it for having ice cream or butter!” People refuse to age, they don’t want to look old, and so they seek refuge under the sharp knives of cosmetic surgeons and anti-aging creams to hide their wrinkles and grey hair. Women entering into their thirties are afraid of losing their jobs and their boyfriends to younger girls. A man's class is no more measured by the amount of his wealth. Instead it is measured by the number of female followers he has. Adultery and fornication is served like a tasty dish. Famous men appear in public with beautifooled girls proudly displayed like trophies. School children are also dragged into this pomp and show. Sexy education is jammed inside their minds in the pretext of sex education with the inclusion of 'how to use contraceptives' and 'ways of avoiding unwanted pregnancies'. The age of consent has replaced the age of marriage in many constitutions. People have been given liberty to enjoy with whomever they want, without taking any social or financial burden of females and families. "Fruits of Radical Liberation.".  |
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